Yuck

I think it really hit me for the first time today that I’m not going back to Bethel come fall. I mean, my head has known that for a long time. I graduated… walked, got my diploma, and all that comes with it. But until recently, it’s just felt like any other summer. My job at Hallmark doesn’t help. It’s part time, and definitely NOT a career. Therefore, it simply feels like another summer job. When I was working tonight, I was thinking about how I might be there for a long time. Not indefinitely, of course, our wedding will change that. But, it’s still longer than I like to think. Don’t get me wrong, I like it there, and it’s been fine. It’s just nothing challenging, nothing that fits.

Of course, the worst part of this realization about Bethel is that friends separate. This thought started when I was talking with Anne the other day. As I was apologizing for not calling in a while, she made mention that we all have jobs and are busy. True, but that just can’t become a habit. And Melsa is moving to Arizona in a couple weeks. Not just visiting, not just leaving for the summer… she’ll be gone.

Sorry, this is a really depressing post. But I’m feeling sad tonight, and needed to let it out somehow. I am excited about moving on and getting into real life. And I can’t describe how excited I am to marry Anthony this January. But a big part of me is still grieving the loss of Bethel.

That is all.